Wait, wait...she's getting back up! Looks like she's going to give this another shot.
That's kind of how I feel at this exact moment. I'm ready to get back in the ring and fight another round. Why? Because I love him. Quite simple if you ask me. Isn't their a saying that anything worth having, is worth fighting for? I'm sure some people would disagree but then again those people's opinions aren't going to cuddle with me, make me laugh or show me an entirely different side of life. The fact that they ultimately don't matter is the point that I'm trying to make.
Have you ever made a mistake and you heard that little voice in your head saying, "You done f*cked up now. You know that, don't you..."? I made a mistake...but I'm not sure if I can still consider it to be a mistake because it's something he's (politely and sometimes rudely) told me not to do. He called it quits and like the emotional and highly-sensitive creature that I am, I immediately burst into tears. I repeatedly called him to no avail. My text messages didn't mend the situation either. I was scheduled to go to work later that day and when I did, I found myself to be an absolute wreck. People don't really know how to react when they're trying to make a purchase and the person handling the transaction has tears pouring down their face. Luckily, I have an amazing set of managers who were willing to give me the rest of the day off. The next day I convinced myself that I had to pull it together for the sake of my sanity and because of my new mission. What was my new mission? Well, if you said to save my relationship or salvage what was left of it then you're exactly right.
With every mission comes a plan that needs to be executed down to the most minute detail. Sticking to the "plan" has always been one my weaknesses. I usually don't stick to the plan itself or I make a Plan A and when it falls to pieces so do I because I don't know what to do next. My plan is:
- Give Him Space - I've been so caught up in trying to spend every moment possible with him that I never once figured that it was hindering us more than helping. Our relationship was long-distance in the beginning (we lived about thirty to forty minutes away from one another). Four months later I moved to the town where he lived. I truly believe the space I gave him when we initially started dating are what made things flow so smoothly. I didn't show up uninvited to his house, constantly call or text him or get mad if he didn't immediately reply.
- Consider Why Things Ended - I know the exact reason why things ended...and it was my fault. Because of what I did (and have did other times in the past), he feels as if it's a sign of disrespect which is definitely not the impression I wanted to give. However, actions speak way louder than words. I understand in order to fix things and make them work I need to stop telling him that won't make the same mistakes without putting any action behind it.
- No Situation Is Hopeless - Sometimes I think everything happens for a reason...and sometimes I think the saying is bunch of crap. I have the power to write my own destiny, and in this case - rewrite it. I believe that their is hope in any situation and nothing is impossible. Nonetheless, I know I have to be realistic and keep in mind that the situation might not go the way that I want.
- Start A New Relationship - Before you start jumping to conclusions, I am not talking about with a new person. In the past when things have been on the very brink of ending, but somehow managed to keep going they did so without missing a beat. That was a problem in itself. I should have taken the time to start over and deaden my old relationship. When I picked things up back where they left off, I picked up the same bad habits that created the problems in the first place.
- Be The Person He Was Attracted To - I can name plenty of things that he loves about me. The fact that I can cook, that I listen to all different types of genres of music, that I'm honest and I say how I feel, and how funny I am. At no point has he ever told me that he loves when I pop up at his house, start arguments with him or complain about things that he does for me. It's time to get back to the basics, bring what he loves about me to the forefront and leave everything else behind.
It's been two, long, drawn out days since he told me that it was over. I have ordered an Edible Arrangement along with an 'I Love You' & 'I'm Sorry' balloon and have it setup to be sent to his job later this week. I hope he appreciates the gesture and it helps to smooth things over between us. Below is a video I made compromised of videos I had recorded on my phone. Take a look at it and tell me what you guys think of it & my situation in the comment box below!
